Shanghai Shower Smoke

I never met you, owner of the shower cigarette, but here are a few questions I had staring at your abandoned shower cigarette for a week.

  • Do you always have a smoke in the shower?

  • Does your husband/mother/person think you quit?

  • Can you shampoo with one hand while smoking with the other? Because shampooing (and we’re pretty sure that bottle was shampoo, although it translated as Spring tiger breath) is definitely a full attention, two-handed activity for me.

  • Did you leave it so you could come back for it another shower?

  • Did you come back for it during another shower, but forget your lighter?

  • Maybe you are trying to quit smoking and you have hidden this last cigarette in the semi-public bathroom of this longtang and you keep it there as a reminder. Or maybe as a promise. Or maybe. A threat.

  • Can you light a damp cigarette? I kept thinking about going camping and the terrible frustration of not having any dry kindling. It’s hopeless really. Your newspaper will light over and over, but you’ll never get that roaring fire of your dreams started if your wood is damp. So can you light a cigarette that’s been in a perpetually damp semi-public bathroom for a week?

  • Or are you just too lazy to throw it away?

The cigarette in question.